A man with a winking problem applied for a position as a sales
representative for a large firm.
The interviewer looked over his papers and said, "You've graduated
from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your
experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second
thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible
position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off
potential customers. I'm sorry . . . . we can't hire you."
"But wait," the man protested, "if I take two aspirin, I stop
winking!"
"Really? Great! Show me!"
The applicant reached into his jacket pocket and began pulling out
all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms,
Assorted condoms. Finally finding a packet of aspirin at the bottom.
He tore it open, swallowed the tablets, and stopped winking.
"Oh dear," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this
is a respectable company, and we can't have our employees womanizing
all over the country!"
"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"
"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"
"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a chemist's and
asked for aspirin while winking?"
---
Custer turned to his Geordie lieutenant and said "Listen, they have war drums"
To which his lieutenant replies "The thievin fu**** bastaads!"
