Dragging the thread back to the topic - this morning saw the opposite effect. My train from Redhill was a five car 377, with first class near the rear. When I got on there were at least ten people sitting in first. After a few minutes it became obvious to me that they shouldn't be there, given the frequent nervous glances down the train to see if the guard was coming. More boarded at Merstham and Coulsdon South and sat in first. Sure enough, my suspicions were confirmed at East Croydon when the train partly emptied and almost all those in first moved to the now-emptier standard class!
The guard was nowhere to be seen for the entire journey to Victoria, and it begs the question of why the guard doesn't take up his position in the first class vestibule in these situations - he would be a deterrent to the parasites and be able to patrol first with ease, while also being near the rear of the train to provide a spread of crew along its length (i.e. driver at the front, guard at the rear).
Because there are no dispatch facilities in the vestibule next to first class, so at each station there would be a delay to squeeze through the train to get the train going. Plus, no matter how much you want it to be true, we cannot spend all our time on the train checking first class. There are many other punters and goings on involved. I once, on a very busy train had a punter before boarding, said, I hope you are going to check first class', then proceeded to walk to the first class bit in coach 1 of a 12 car full and standing train. When the train cleared out and I managed to get through checking tickets, I did get to the first class bit where he was, but we are not miracle workers, if a train is -packed, we cannot get through, and have to think of being in the correct places for dispatch. And sometimes a plan to check tickets can be trashed by a wheelchair, or someone needed assistance.
But don't worry, perhaps we will soon all be gone and replaced by some customer service thingimy, who may, or may not be on your train and will be gone by the next franchise change over anyway.